archenemy blog

More on the proverbial street and its uses for things:

Law enforcement authorities have discovered that people are willing to go to great lengths to get high

And they discovered this when? Recently, or decades ago, a few minutes after deciding to police what people put in their bodies?

including a troubling new method that features a frightened toad.

Ah, well - maybe this IS newsworthy, after all…

“Toad smoking,” which is a substitute for “toad licking,” is done by extracting venom from the Sonoran Desert toad of the Colorado River. The toad’s venom - which is secreted when the toad gets angry or scared - contains a hallucinogen called bufotenine that can be dried and smoked to produce a buzz.

Okay, I can see where this is going. Right now, there’s a pagan eco-feminist grad student somewhere trying really, really hard to think of a way to get a toad into a syringe that won’t piss off his PETA-sympathizing girlfriend.

In October, a Kansas City man was charged with possessing a controlled substance after Clay County authorities determined he possessed a toad with the intent to use its venom to get high.

Apparently the toad did double duty as both controlled substance AND illegal drug paraphernalia. I love the slant of the article - after all the gory details, the author gives us an “and if you think that’s disgusting, check this out”, which makes me think the point the AP wants you to take away from the article is not people are smoking toad venom, isn’t that interesting? but rather OMFG, people are disgusting goddamn freaks who will do anything!, which brings me to my last question: Can we colonize Mars anytime soon? Because I’d like to be as far away as possible from the fuckwads who think spending tax money on a War on Toads is a good idea.