If there is one thing that I am sick of it’s the pathetic mobile phone fanboys who want the latest and greatest cell phones for $.01, but then bitch, moan and whine about how they are stuck in a contract for 2 years. Thank god for the assholes at Consumerist, who seem to write articles on a weekly basis on how to sleaze out of a phone contract without paying the penalty. God I hate Consumerist- I’m sorry, although like Indiana Jones, “I hate Nazis”, I really don’t need a daily update on the status of Walmart’s Toten Kopf t-shirts just as an excuse to jump on the bash Walmart band wagon. Is there any American retailer who has done more for the American consumer in the last 20 years than Walmart?
I mean look at all the choice consumers had in East Buttfuck, West Virginia before Walmart. Dumbasses.
Re: the iPhone- I don’t give a shit. Over the years I kept moving to more and more advanced phones, culminating in Crackberries and Treos. I finally came to the conclusion that I only want the following in a cell phone:
- Fucking amazing battery life. I mean it would be great to go 6 months without having to charge. Maybe fuel cells? Whenever I really need my phone it seems like I’m almost out of juice.
- A simple phone with maybe 4 or 5 different rings so I know if friends or family or telemarketers are calling. I don’t need dancing frogs.
- Small. Not Zoolander small, just small enough to carry in my front pocket of my jeans without looking like I’m sportin’ wood.
Instead, Steve Job’s has decided to create a phone that allows you to edit home video on the move…
Thanks douchbag.
2 Comments
1. Fucking amazing battery life. I mean it would be great to go 6 months without having to charge. Maybe fuel cells? Whenever I really need my phone it seems like I’m almost out of juice
It’s not that hard. My phone came with a wall charger and a car charger I’m always reasonably close to one for long enough to charge up the phone.
Yet .. it MUST be hard because my phone’s battery meter seems stuck between ‘empty to half-full’. If my phone was good for a half-year I know that at the six month mark I’d have _no_ idea where the chargers are.
But I suppose at month 5 1/2 you’d just swing around to Wal-Mart and pick up a new one. That would make sense. And they’d be cheap AND Wal-Mart would have a recycling program that would a) be the largest in the country and b) be a nice profit center and c) Drive the ant Wal-Mart crowd nuts.
Even better - at month 5 Wal-Mart MAILS you a new battery. Drop the old one in the mailer and send it back. Now THAT would be a little slice o’ Heaven.
I work for a guy who used to be a manager at Apple. Regarding the iPhone, he said “there’s no marketing research - there’s only one customer, and we’re just lucky that he has good taste.” I won’t argue the “good taste” part but the part about one customer seems plausible. He also said the reason why the iPhone doesn’t have Bluetooth is because the Apple engineers can’t get bluetooth to connect from the drivers seat to the trunk of a Mercedes 560SL and when they can, it will have it. Nice.
That being said, I really want an iPhone.