I’ve had one of those mornings when you just follow links all over the internet till you have no clue where you are. In my travels I came across what is one of my favorite skits ever on SNL. For your amusement:
Pete Schweddy: Well, there are lots of great treats this time of year - Zucchini Bread, Fruitcake … but the thing that I most like to bring out this time of year are my Balls.
Teri Rialto: Mmm … Balls … Tell us about your Balls, Pete.
Pete Schweddy: Well, over at Season’s Eatings, we have Balls for every taste. Popcorn Balls, Cheese Balls, Rum Balls … you name it.
Margeret Jo McCullen: Wow! My mouth’s watering just thinking about those Balls!
Teri Rialto: It’s been years since I’ve seen any Balls.
Pete Schweddy: Would you like to see my Balls now?
Margeret Jo McCullen: Yeah. Whip them out.
[Pete places a tray of Balls on the control board]
Teri Rialto: Mmm … wow … you have some beautiful Balls …
Margeret Jo McCullen: They’re bigger than I expected.
Pete Schweddy: A lot of people tell me that.
Margeret Jo McCullen: Look at that, Teri - the way they glisten.
Pete Schweddy: That’s because make sure that each one of my Balls gets plenty of oil.
Margeret Jo McCullen: I can’t help but, notice, Pete - your Balls are a little misshapen.
Pete Schweddy: That’s because I rested them on a hot stove too long.
Teri Rialto: Can I touch your Balls.
Pete Schweddy: Go ahead. But be careful, they’re very delicate.
Margeret Jo McCullen: Wow. I can’t wait to get my mouth around his Balls.
Teri Rialto: [sniffing] Ooh … I like the way your Balls smell …
Pete Schweddy: Do whatever you want to, ladies. My Balls are here for your pleasure.
Margeret Jo McCullen: [chewing] Wow, Pete … I have to say - your Balls are so tender.
Pete Schweddy: Well, there’s no beating my Balls. They’re made from a secret Schweddy Family recipe. No one can resist my Schweddy Balls.
Margeret Jo McCullen: Wow … Schweddy Balls. Nothing like a Schweddy Ball.
Teri Rialto: Good Balls.
Margeret Jo McCullen: Mmm … good times.
Teri Rialto: Good times … Mmm. Our producer is telling us it’s time to wrap it up.
Margeret Jo McCullen: That’s all the time we have today, Teri. So, join us next week, when our topic will be that other holiday favorite …
Margaret Jo & Teri: … Fragrant, Flavored Nuts.
Pete Schweddy: A quick plug! If you order from Season’s Eatings now, you can still send out a special Schweddy Ball Sack in time.
Margeret Jo McCullen: Great idea. My niece would love a Sack of Schweddy Balls …
One Comment
I’m amused by the fact that if you read down the main page of this blog, the titles of this post and the one before it (by date, but after it on the page) reads: “Schweddy Balls …and some of the cleanest prostitutes in whole of Central Asia!”